


Your Hair Looks Like Shit Today

by Filthyfilthyfilthy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (light) humiliation, Coming Untouched, Communication, Dom John Egbert, Dom/sub Undertones, Edgeplay, Fluff and Smut, Foreplay, Hair-pulling, M/M, Name-Calling, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Sub Dave Strider, Teasing, loooots of teasing, playful use of the words slut/whore/etc in case that bothers anyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-22 17:31:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14313672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Filthyfilthyfilthy/pseuds/Filthyfilthyfilthy
Summary: Scoffing, Dave sits up in disbelief, pushing at John's well-worn novel. "That's it?" he says in annoyance. "All you wanted to do was diss my hair and then go back to your trashy book?" John barely spares him an amused look, like one would give their senile relative ranting about nothing of importance. "You're not even going to tell me if it looks bad?"That makes John put his book back down again, at least temporarily, folding over the corner of his page and closing it slowly. "What, do you want me to?"Dave puffs out his chest indignantly, eyebrows knitting together. "No, I just thought you might've had, I don't know, a point?"





	Your Hair Looks Like Shit Today

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah this is porn please enjoy & maybe give me kudos if u liked it

"Hey, Dave?"

It was a lazy afternoon (a Tuesday if you wanted to get specific) and neither Dave nor John had any place to be until tomorrow afternoon. Of course, while they both could have and should have been studying - or in Dave's case, doing one of his several overdue assignments - the two of them were content enough to drape over each other and relax doing their own thing instead. Outside, the sun was lowering in the sky, cloudless and blue, warm enough to open the window but not enough to make them sticky with sweat. The room had been silent for a long while, comfortably, only interrupted by the sounds of passing traffic below, or someone walking past their shared apartment. So, when John speaks, it surprises his boyfriend enough that he can be dragged away from his benign app to pay full attention.

"Yeah?" He responds lazily, blinking up at John brightly and propping himself up from where his head had been resting in John's lap. Instead of immediately answering, John simply drops his hand into Dave's mess of curls, stroking it with a hum. It was an affectionate and lazy movement, Dave pressing up into the contact eagerly, enjoying any modicum of attention his boyfriend granted him - which was plenty.

"Your roots are showing," he says softly, tangling his fingers through the locks and giving them a light pull, eyes crinkling in amusement.

Dave snorts, batting at the previously comforting motion in annoyance. "Yeah, I know. Soon I'll just be a dull brunet again. Will you still love me when I'm a Plain Jane, babe?" John raises an eyebrow, the corner of his lips quirked up.

"Maybe," he snarks, giving Dave's hair a last sharp tug before going back to his book.

Scoffing, Dave sits up in disbelief, pushing at John's well-worn novel. "That's it?" he says in annoyance. "All you wanted to do was diss my hair and then go back to your trashy book?" John barely spares him an amused look, like one would give their senile relative ranting about nothing of importance. "You're not even going to tell me if it looks bad?"

That makes John put his book back down again, at least temporarily, folding over the corner of his page and closing it slowly. "What, do you want me to?"

Dave puffs out his chest indignantly, eyebrows knitting together. "No, I just thought you might've had, I don't know, a point?"

John rolls his eyes, finally putting his book aside and reaching out to Dave. He settles a hand on his waist and tugs on him lightly, coaxing the temporary-blond into his lap. "I didn't. I'd just noticed, that's all."

The answer was thoroughly anticlimactic, Dave's nose crinkling. They'd spent hours, lying there and doing nothing, and John interrupts it to point out that his hair looked like crap recently? He didn't buy it. "Sure you did," he says hotly, folding his arms and refusing to cave into John's boyish smile and naturally ruffled hair. "I'm sure you did. Because you totally super care about when I last bleached my hair. You've never noticed before, dude, what gives?"

Despite Dave's annoyance, John still laughs in his face good-naturedly, not really taking his faux-anger seriously. "What do you want me to say, Dave?" He drops his voice into his own mockery of sternness, frowning at him weakly. "You look like shit, fix your hair. I'm very disappointed in you." In response, the tip of Dave's nose burns in embarrassment, his arms crossing tighter in front of his chest. "Oh come on, you little shit! All I was doing was pointing out that your hair was growing out, why do you have to be so melodramatic?" Through all his prodding and teasing, John doesn't stop smiling and laughing, never quite taking it seriously or really making any effort to either.

"Whatever," Dave sniffs, suddenly far too eager to drop the whole thing after he pushed so hard.

The sudden and strange stiffness makes John pause, running his hands up and down Dave's sides idly as he watches him. He doesn't look mad, per se, but he doesn't look entirely happy either. In fact, he doesn't even look particularly annoyed. John knows that if Dave was annoyed with him he'd have made it abundantly clear by now - and he certainly wouldn't still be straddling John's lap so casually. Slowly, John squints at Dave suspiciously, pursing his lips. When John doesn't keep talking, Dave looks back to him out of the corner of his eye, gaze snapping away when he notices him looking. A few minutes of relative silence stretched between them, John's suspicions growing by the minute.

"Oh my God," he finally says with an exhale. "You are such an attention whore!"

Dave's face screws up in defiance, John laughing loudly, even going so far as to toss his head back. "If you wanted me to pay attention to you, all you had to do was say so. Are you really that desperate? You'd even go for bad attention? You're unbelievable." His words were harsh but his tone was affectionate, John reaching up to push the mess of Dave's hair out of his eyes. As he talked, Dave got steadily and steadily redder, the flush spreading from his nose to his cheeks to his ears. It was admittedly very cute, John tugging his boyfriend closer until he could kiss each of those rosy cheeks.

"Stop it," Dave whines half-heartedly. "You're such a dick. That's not it at all, you absolute ass-lamp. I told you, I'm just annoyed you didn't go anywhere with it." The argument was weak and both of them knew it, John's smile only growing while Dave shrunk down in defeat. "Fine, whatever, sue me, I want my boyfriend to pay attention to me. Is that so bad? Can we stop now? I changed my mind, I don't want you even looking at me anymore. You've got that smarmy grin."

"What smarmy grin?"

"That one, you know the one, you're doing it right now, fucker."

To shut him up, John laughs, tangling his fingers in Dave's hair to pull him in for a proper kiss. When he pulls away, he's still smiling, but somewhat more darkly. "No way José, you've done it now. All eyes on Dave, the Spotlight Slut," he teased, pinching one of Dave's cheeks and tugging, Dave making loud complaints and toothless angry noises. Even with all the objections, Dave couldn't keep the smile off his face for much longer, laughing and shoving at John, trying to look away bashfully. John wasn't having any of it, grabbing Dave's waist securely before he tosses him to the side on the couch, leaving him sprawling.

"God, you're such a goober," Dave says in exasperation, John crawling over him to sprinkle squishy wet kisses over his cheeks, his neck, both men snickering and giggling like kids. It was sweet and childish, a nice change of pace from their adult lives.

"You love me," John coos, all his attention on his slightly needy boyfriend. If Dave looked down to the end of the couch right then, he would have caught the symbolic sight of John's book being accidentally kicked off the cushions, bouncing away on the carpet to be picked up later. As it was, though, he was already plenty convinced, squirming underneath his boyfriend. He curls both arms around his neck, nose crinkled in good humour.

"Yeah, I sure do." With the serious tone, both of them slow down, smiling lazily and pressing their noses together like an old married couple. John’s hands rub up and down Dave’s sides, his eyes closing as he nuzzles against him. “I love you even when you’re the worst,” Dave mumbles, nipping playfully at John’s jaw.

“I’m never the worst,” John counters, hovering over Dave and grabbing his jaw lightly. “I’m always the best, and you know it.”

Dave raised a brow, snorting. “Yes sir,” he says mockingly, shoving his tongue out.

John pats his boyfriend’s cheek, clicking his tongue in disapproval. “Hey, you’re not saying it like you mean it. Try again before I decide to go back to my book.” His tongue is caught between his teeth, looking smug as hell, and unsurprisingly, attractive as fuck.

“Yes sir,” Dave stresses, nose crinkling. This time, John’s disapproving pat is a little sharper, though not painful, and he arches a brow, waiting patiently for Dave to try again. “Yes sir,” he whines, jutting out his bottom lip.

John sighs, seemingly still not convinced. Dave’s face is hot with embarrassment, or shame, maybe, and he can’t help but squirm underneath the other. The movement amused John to no end and he grabs Dave’s hands from where they’d been wound around his neck, pinning them to the cushions above him. In response Dave nods vigorously, encouraging him to continue with what they were doing. John barks out a laugh, lips twitching into that smug smirk of his.

“What, you’re horny too?”

With that, it was painfully obvious that this was about to get a lot less lazy-Tuesday-afternoon and more hot-and-heavy-Tuesday-night, and God was Dave not complaining.

“Would you be disappointed in me if I was?” he says slyly, tilting his head.

John doesn’t answer and instead pulls away with that smile on his face. “We’re not doing this on the couch. Up.” He pats Dave’s thigh sharpy before he stands, offering a hand to help him up.

By the time they had reached the bedroom, Dave had well and truly slipped into all-out horny-boyfriend mode, while John was eagerly taking up his role happy-to-comply-boyfriend. Before he’d even fully closed the door, he starts ordering Dave around calmly and without ceremony. “Strip.” Dave does so eagerly, pulling off his shirt and jeans like they were on fire. “On the bed.” Still struggling out of his skinny jeans, Dave flops onto the bed, legs kicking to try and rid himself of the fabric. Tangled up on the bed, he doesn’t notice John until he’s already upon him, grabbing his ankle so stop his frantic kicking. “Slow down, you’re going to hurt yourself,” he says dryly. Dave rolls his eyes but his movements slow, trying to work his jeans down his thighs and calves, John helping to tug each leg off from where he stood at the end of the bed.

Soon Dave was lying back on the bed in just his boxers, an obvious tent pitched in the front, a small wet patch growing over where his dick pressed into the fabric. John soon over him, still fully clothed, still looking smug. Already Dave is breathing hard, his face on fire and thighs twitching in anticipation. John gives his body an appreciative up-and-down, rounding the corner of the bed, hand trailing up one of Dave's legs. It smooths up his calf, his inner thigh, the edge of his boxers before skipping over his crotch completely to continuing up his stomach and over his chest. Dave squeezes his eyes shut and clenches his fists at his sides, stomach cold and fluttery, face hot and body tingling with frayed nerves.

"John—" Dave starts, only to cut off with a sharp intake of breath, his back arching off the bed as John thumbs over one of his nipples roughly.

"Hey," he says lowly, slowly leaning down, hovering over Dave. He moves his way down his boyfriend's jaw, flicking at his nipple and grinning to himself. When he reaches his ear he laughs quietly before speaking. "Did I say you could talk?" At that, Dave can only let out a long and pitiful whine, reaching up to grab at John's shirt, his hands being easily batted away. "Down boy," John laughs, pulling back from Dave's ear. "Hands off. Just lie there for a while, okay? You wanted this, didn't you? You wanted all my attention," his hand runs back down Dave's fluttering stomach, trailing off as John straightens back up. "You wanted me to pay attention to you because you're an attention whore, but when I do you just whine! What do you want from me, Dave? I’m trying to be a good boyfriend here, but you’re just so needy!" John punctuates himself by walking back around to the end of the bed, placing one of his knees on the mattress. He grabs one of Dave's thighs, pushing it up and out, Dave's breaths coming out in shuddering pants. He automatically moves his hand to hold his leg up against his chest, arching his lower back to push his hips towards John’s hands.

“Shh,” John says, eyes crinkled in amusement. Dave slumps back onto the bed, biting his lip in an attempt to quiet the little noises that he couldn’t help but make. John notices his efforts, sliding his hand up Dave’s other thigh with a sweet smile. “Such a good boy.”

Even with how worked up Dave is, he throws John an annoyed scowl, arching his back up and flopping back down pointedly. “Hey, hey, don’t ruin it now. You were being so patient!” Dave throws his head back and makes various loud and impatient noises, John scoffing and snickering at him all the while. “You can talk a little you big baby,” John finally relents, scraping his nails up the back of Dave’s raised thigh.

“I swear to God John,” Dave says as soon as he’s given permission, the words coming out long and bleeding together, all released in one pent-up breath. “Can you please just touch me properly already? C’mon, I’m rock solid here, I don’t need more working up, dude, I’ve been ready since ten minutes ago—” Dave would have probably kept on like that until John gave in if he wasn’t stopped by John pressing his finger to his own lips, shushing him quietly.

“That’s enough of that!” he says cheerfully.

“John God damn it, please?” Dave tries, sticking his bottom lip out. “I want to get my rocks off already.”

“You can do that without this,” John says nonchalantly, running a finger up the clothed ridges of the underside of Dave’s cock. At the sudden stimulation Dave jerks, moaning. He doesn’t seem to register what John was implying until his body relaxes once again.

“Wha—?” he slurs intelligently, tilting his head to give John a quizzical look.

John gives him a knowing and decidedly wicked smile. “I said, I know you can cum, even if I don’t touch you.” Dave’s face turns bright pink in embarrassment, his shoulders coming up to his ears. “I know you can do it because you’re a horny little bitch and you’ve done it before,” John says casually, grabbing Dave’s other leg and pushing it up until Dave sluggishly grabs it, face pink and making no objections.

John wriggles his hands under Dave’s hips, grabbing the elastic of his boxers and pulling them out from under his ass, shoving them up his thighs and off his legs, tossing them somewhere in the room with the rest of Dave’s strewn-about clothes. He turns back to Dave with an affectionate smile. “Well?”

“Well what?” Dave grumbles, looking away.

“Well, you’ve got to tell me if you want it!” John says in exasperation. “Do you want it, Dave? Do you want me to try and make you cum without touching your cock?”

Dave screws his eyes shut and nods vigorously, face turning further to the side. John crawls up his body, cupping one of his cheeks and turning his face back to look at him. “Open your eyes,” he says firmly, Dave reluctantly doing so. “You have to use your words, Dave,” he laughs, stroking down one of his cheeks soothingly, watching his expression carefully. It was pretty obvious that Dave wanted it, but John wasn’t asking for them to go to a walk in the park. He was asking his boyfriend if he could tease him and play with him until he came untouched— he needed more than a flustered nod before he’d go through with it.

John watches Dave as his tongue peeks out, wetting his lips and swallowing thickly. “Yeah,” he croaks.

John sighs, pulling his face back from where he’d tried to look away again. “Yeah what?”

“Yeah, I want it,” Dave groans, one of his arms coming up to cover his face. John easily pries it away, grinning happily.

“Good boy,” he coos, leaning down and kissing the tip of Dave’s nose, only succeeding in making him groan again, louder. John snorts but doesn’t let up, moving his face down and kissing along his boyfriend’s jaw, the sensitive spot under his ear, down the line of his throat and over his bobbing Adam’s apple. Dave’s protests fade back into affected heavy breathing, his hands trying to come up and tangle into John’s hair. He catches the offending hands, laughing and pulling back.

“Eager, much?” he teases, tugging on Dave’s arms, coaxing him into sitting up. “On your knees,” he says sweetly, Dave scrambling to do as he says. As soon as he gets into position, Dave tries to twist his head to look at John, only for his head to be gently pressed against the bed. John’s slightly calloused hands graze up the curve of his spine, tracing from scar-to-scar, freckle-to-freckle. “Beautiful,” he mumbles, almost to himself. Dave folds his arms over his face and whines, John only able to laugh. “You love it, shut up you big baby!” He teases, hands dragging down Dave’s back, stopping to grab handfuls of his ass, spreading him, kneading him, grinning like a kid on Christmas all the while.

When Dave’s legs try and press together, one of John’s knees nudges between them, keeping them open, his hands grabbing and lifting Dave’s hips to help him adjust and settle into a position John liked. “I don’t know why you’re so embarrassed,” he tsks, a hand rubbing over Dave’s ass in circles, thumb catching and spreading him, Dave burying his face further into the bed. “You want to be pampered and then you get all shy!” John complains, hand pulling away and coming down sharply, quickly smoothing over the spot apologetically. Dave makes a choked half-relieved-half-frustrated noise, pre dripping from his dick now that it was freed.

John settles down behind Dave, running his hands over his skin almost reverently. He strokes down the backs of his thighs, up to where his ass meets his legs, dipping down the follow the V of his pelvis— all without straying near where he so desperately wanted to be touched. 

The snap of lube opening makes Dave jump, not having even noticed John shifting to reach into their bedside table, pulling out a large half-empty bottle of lube. "Now keep quiet, okay?" John says firmly, Dave nodding his head. "I don't want the neighbours hearing your horny noises just because you couldn't keep your mouth shut," he continues, dripping lube over Dave's ass, making him twitch and slap a hand over his mouth. He can't see John, but he just knows he has a fully self-satisfied grin plastered on his face, clearly enjoying himself.   


There's a moment of sexually-charged silence, Dave's thighs shaking and his eyes squeezing shut, thrumming with anticipation. Finally, John's hand slides down the small of Dave's back and brushes over his entrance, down to his taint, then back up again. He presses two fingers to his taint, Dave biting back a full-bodied moan, John laughing softly. "I'm going to ruin you," John says cheerfully in a last bit of warning before pressing a finger inside him, up to the knuckle. Dave tries to press back on the welcome touch, but John roughly grabs his hip, keeping him still. He doesn't move his finger until Dave stops wriggling desperately, wanting Dave to cum on his terms. Afterall, it was no fun if Dave got to do what he wanted!

When John's finger does finally start moving, it's all Dave can do not to make as much noise as humanly possible. John quickly scouts out his prostate and starts mercilessly rubbing it, the pad of his finger curled hard against the small knot of nerves. He has to stop a couple of times to relube, but even those short breaks do nothing to help Dave calm down. Every time a small peep escapes him, John clicks his tongue in disappointment, jabbing his finger particularly roughly over his hot spot. "Spread yourself," he grunts after a while, and Dave is quick to comply, reaching back to hold himself spread, despite his burning embarrassment. With Dave's ass spread John adds another finger, Dave whining quietly. It was too much and not enough. His hips fruitlessly tried to rock into John's hand, his grip too secure to allow the movement. "Look at you, you fucking whore," John mumbles, almost mindless. Dave nods, just as out of it as his boyfriend was. "You really want it, don't you?" he growls, pressing his chest against Dave's back, caging him in. He nods again, too dazed to even try to speak. 

It isn't until a third finger is added that Dave realizes why John told him to hold himself open. He apparently needed the hand free to start jacking himself off, hand moving furiously over himself as he sits back to watch his fingers pressing into Dave. "Cum for me, I want to see your pretty O face," he coos, raking over Dave's prostate, licking his lips as he watches. That's apparently all Dave needs, the blond jerking hard in John's hold, mouth opening in a silent cry as he sees white, his dick jerking and wetting the sheets below him. 

John's fingers slow, but they don't immediately stop, Dave unable to stop himself from making a half-sobbing noise at the over stimulation. "I'm not finished, can I finish in you?" John pants, all pretence of dominating gone, too desperate to really care. With that out of the way, Dave chokes out a breath as if breaking a spell. 

"Fuck, yeah, okay, shit," Dave babbles, not getting much further before a pre-lubed dick presses into him with little fanfare. 

"Shit, fuck," John says with equal incoherency as Dave, grabbing Dave's hips and pulling him flush back against him. "I love you," he whines, leaning down to pant against Dave's neck. "Fuck, I love you so much, you're gorgeous, what did I do to deserve you?" Dave half-laughs-half-moans, unable to come up with a reply. John pulls back and thrusts, only managing a handful before his dick jerks, spilling into his boyfriend with a sweet moan. 

The pair of them collapse, unbothered by their own fluids for the moment, Dave blissfully boneless and dazed. The smile on his face is one of smugness, looking for all the world like the cat that got the cream— which he really did. They breathe hard, catching their breath, John carefully coaxing Dave into rolling over until his head is on John's chest. 

"Good?" he mumbles tiredly, looking down at Dave. 

"Good," Dave groans in confirmation. 

One of John's hands come up, slowly and affectionately combing through Dave's sweaty hair. He drops a sweet kiss to his forehead, smiling against his skin. He pulls back in order to take in Dave's face and hair in all its fucked-out glory. "Your hair looks really good like that."


End file.
